It always seems that the first of the year is crazy for me. Trying to get back into the swing of things, seems to be a little bit of a harder task then I had imagined.
I often sit back and wonder why I even bother doing this.. Why do I write on a blog, a book, a page, etc.. when I feel like I may never have anything to accomplish by doing those things. It’s the little insecure thoughts that race through my mind, telling me.. I’m no good, give up.
But, I won’t. I fought to be here today, and have been fighting for myself for a long time. It was never about what I could accomplish for others, but for myself. We all go through times in our lives when we may not feel like we are worthy. You may even be feeling how I feel at times, but don’t pay attention to all the drama. Believe in yourself, is the only motto I can chant. If I don’t believe in myself, then who is going too? It starts with one purpose, one goal, and you build to that goal to follow your dreams.
Did I ever think I would be a best selling author? No way!
Did I ever think that people would listen or read my words of random bullshit? Nope.
Did I do all this because I wanted to do it for myself? Hell Yes!
It doesn’t matter how many times I get knocked down, I keep getting back up. I have too. Quitting was never the option, even when I really felt like I should. That’s not who I am, and nor do I want to be.
Blogging for me seems to be more about an open letter to others. What I like, what I hate, trying to stay positive.. I read the other day how I am supposed to run a blog to make it successful, etc.. BUT I felt like that’s not what I wanted. It was never going to be like that for me. I just wanted to share my thoughts, and ideas, and maybe even, share my dreams with the world. It never will be about the fame, the money (there is none lol) and or the title that goes along with being an author. I just wanted to find myself through this journey.
Everyone needs a little push sometimes, everyone needs to be reminded that they are loved. (I know I certainly do.) That’s why I started blogging and called it randomness. Hearing about my books may not be that exciting, reading about the music I love, may be exhausting.. But every now and then I want to remind others that they are not alone in their fight for their dreams. When you feel defeated, you should know, that someone else is in your corner. I am always going to PUSH for people to know they have a purpose, that they are cared for.. That’s just something I feel I gotta do.
So, if you are feeling like you are taking one step forward and two steps back, don’t fret, I understand your feelings. In the end, we all just have to keep pushing. Pushing ourselves to be better, to keep working towards our goals, to keep climbing up that mountain, whatever the cost!
(P.S. I’ve got your back when you need someone in your corner!)
I shall leave you with some random words of wisdom…
It’s not about the who, the where, the why, it’s about how high you want to go. Climb that mountain, slay that beast, be positive that you can do anything.
Peace, Love, and all that Jazz- Dee