Where do we begin?

As often as writing about books is fun, I often enjoy writing about everything in between. Life is full of day to day humdrum nonsense, but then there are those days that make it all worth it.

There are events that happen in your life, some good, some bad, and some EPIC. Days like your wedding day, your children being born, their first steps, those are some of the days that you will never forget. Those are what I shall call the EPIC days in your life. We never know when one of these days will become a memory that you can’t erase or a time that will change your life forever…

The good days always try to out do the bad, we want it that way. We want certain times in our lives to be the best day ever and we try so hard for that day to be just what we want. Whether it’s a concert, a night on the town (Do people still say that? Haha.) or an event you have planned, you want these particular days to be etched into your brain. Just like publishing for the first time, I wanted to remember that day FOREVER. But then the bad days come, or a bad memory slips through, and you can live forever thinking of all the bad that happened to you.

No one ever knows the “bad day” is coming, you wake up, full of positive thoughts, and boom… something happens and it turns into a “bad day”… The bad day comes and it can turn into a bad week, maybe even a bad month… We do this to ourselves at times. We let the one bad thing take over and let it play out for way too long; then we are stuck thinking -F- my life. There is a lot of those days, and when we want the good days to be more often the bad, we search too hard for them. Not every day can be good, not every day will be bad… because that’s life.

This sounds like nonsense, but I swear I’m making some kind of point in this… Often finding myself writing out how I feel from my past (my bad days) to my current days is harder than imagined. Some where inside of me, lives this little girl who just wants to be free of all the “bad” days, but the memories linger longer than I would like. Trying to always overcome the past, trying to push for a better future, can lead you somewhere you didn’t know you could go… A better day, a better way of thinking, a better life.

Having to write out my past in a fantasy world seems to be taking a toll on my soul at times. The anger that comes through (didn’t know I was that angry at times,) the heart breaking moments that I feel, I try to see that the present me is doing better than the old me. The future me, will be better than the present me.

For many years, I thought that my past was going to defy who I would become… and it did. (It made a better person because of it!) The sad parts of my life could be told, and sure there’s something about releasing your inner demons out loud that makes me wish I had a different life, but I wouldn’t be who I am today without those times. We all have struggles in our life, some worse than others, some who think they struggle and have no idea what that word means, and some of us who rise above our struggles. There’s always a story tell, because everyone has one, no matter what age you are. My story is being played out through a book series… (Probably not the smartest idea, but it’s what I know. Haha.)

(I’m finally getting to the point here..)

No matter what you’re struggles are, you can overcome them, you can RISE above the hate, the pain, and you can find yourself along the way. Picking up the pieces of your broken heart, can be rewarding when you let it. We can’t stay in the “bad days” forever, because nothing good will ever come of it…

Trying to find yourself, living a better life for you, is where you will see the “good days” start becoming more; and the bad ones becoming a distant memory. Nothing is ever going to be easy in this life, nothing is ever going to be handed to us, we have to fight for the “good days.” We have to RISE above. Everyone has their day to day struggles, every one has their own inner demons, but don’t focus on the negative. Try to find the positive in every day life too, not just the EPIC days. I think that’s where I’m finding myself lately… Somewhere in between letting go of my past, and learning to find the positive. If our past creates who we will become, then we either fail or we RISE…

I want to RISE above the hate, the sorrow, the negative, and feel FREE! Free to be my true self, free to uplift others, and most of all, FREE to be who I am. There’s a fear in the back of my mind that I will never be good enough, I will never be loved as much I love to love, there is always this little voice telling me you aren’t worth it… Give up, no one gives a shit… and I keep telling that voice to go to hell. Because some where inside of me, the good days are outweighing the bad and I refuse to let the bad ones take over my mind anymore.

 

Find your hidden strength, find your good days, hold on to them, and let them guide your heart. Charmed Chaos Letting go

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